5 conversation starters for your child from the Netflix show Heartstopper
Heartstopper is a beautiful show on Netflix (view the trailer here) - it's a lovely depiction of young teen romance, and it deals really well with the emotions that come with having crushes. There is some kissing, but no other physical intimacy.
Depending on the maturity level of your child you could watch it with your tween and most definitely your teen. I suggest you watch the first episode yourself and then decide if it is something to watch with your child. I watched the whole series alone first - there are only 8 episodes, 25mins each - and then I watched it again with my girls aged 9 and 13. I chose to pause it at certain points for some reflection questions for them and also to answer questions from my 9 year old. We also paused it when we felt the character's emotions, I think we all had happy tears at some point!
This show is a great opportunity to discuss many topics with your tweens and teens and so I have created some conversation starters for you. You could either pause the episode and ask the question as it comes up, or mention it casually later - as you do the dishes together, or you are at the dinner table, or in the car. Remember these kinds of questions are often easier for your child to answer when they are not feeling the pressure of your gaze, i.e. very little or no eye contact, and while engaged in another activity. "I have been thinking about that last episode of Heartstopper, what do you think...(insert question)".
Keep it casual, don't make it a big deal.
You will know which questions are appropriate for your child based on what you have talked about previously with them, or on their response to the show. Depending on your child you can choose a feeling question or a thinking question, or perhaps you can use these as prompts create your own questions.
Episode 1
Why do you think Ben pretends he doesn't know Charlie?
Charlie calls Mr Reid a "massive transphobe", what does he mean?
The art room is Charlie's safe space, and the art teacher is an adult in his 'safety network' - where do you go when you are upset, and who do you feel you could turn to if you needed to talk to an adult about your feelings?
How do you think it feels for Charlie overhearing the boys talking about him in the locker room?
What do you think about Nick coming in to support Charlie when Ben wouldn't stop?
Episode 2
Which of your friends would support you if you wanted to talk to them about your crushes/who you liked?
Why do you think Charlie texts Nick and says "thank you for being my supportive straight friend?"
Why do you think the art teacher had a different experience of being gay at school than Charlie does?
Elle says she was suspended for her 'hair length' at Truham, why do you think that was, do you think there could have been other reasons?
What do you think the little crackles of electricity are when Nick almost touches Charlie's hand?
Episode 3
Why do you think Nick feels emotional after he has done the online quiz?
Do you think it would be a big deal if two of your friends of the same sex started going out with each other?
Nick stands up and tells Harry he is homophobic, do you think you could call someone out like that?
What do you think Nick was thinking when he saw Tara and Darcy kissing?
What do you think Charlie is feeling when he is crying in the car with his Dad?
Episode 4
Why do you think when Nick comes over Charlie says "Sorry I shouldn't have kissed you"?
What do you think a 'gay crisis' is? How might that feel for someone?
If you thought you were gay, like Nick, how do you think you would like to be supported as you figured things out?
Why does Imogen say her and Nick are together?
Why do you think Nick agrees to go out with Imogen? What would you do in that situation if you were Nick?
As always my inbox is open for your questions or reflections, and I would love to hear how you find the show and the experience of watching it with your child.
If you skimmed:
Heartstopper is a beautiful show on Netflix
It is a great starting point for some valuable conversations with your child
The more we provide our children opportunity for these conversations the more comfortable they will feel coming to you when they need to talk about their own feeling
Please feel free to reach out to me at hello @ tellyourdaughters.co.au