That time I lectured my 16 year old brother about the elusiveness of female pleasure...
7:30pm, Thursday, sometime in the late 90's
"Hey Natalie?" the tone in my brother's voice makes me pause my discman, I can tell he is nervous. I remove my headphones and nod for him to continue.
"Can I have (girlfriend's name) over to stay, when Mum and Dad are away this weekend?"
I knew what he was actually asking. They had been "going out" for a while now and it was likely they were feeling ready to "do it".
I thought for a moment, and after running through a quick assessment of my options decided to make it a teachable moment.
"Sure, but I want you to know some things..."
He might have rolled his eyes, but of course he had to listen, he knew this was part of the bargain. So I launched into telling him things I wish someone had told me. Things I knew hadn't been covered in his s.x ed at school or at home.
Things I covered in my mini lecture:
how female anatomy is different from male anatomy in terms of pleasure
how rare it is for a woman to orgasm via intercourse alone
the importance of taking your time and going slow
knowing when you are ready to have s.x and not pressuring anyone
Things I likely didn't cover but would add in retrospect:
consent and all the nuances
a deeper explanation of pleasure anatomy (nerves and the role of the whole nervous system)
communication and asking your partner what feels good
p.rn isn't real
all vulvas are different
aftercare
25 years later
Well things haven't changed much in terms of what is being taught in schools.Thisis the "Why" behindTell Your Daughters. I want our tweens and teens to feel informed and empowered when it comes to their intimate physical relating. And I want parents to feel they have the tools to help their children feel confident and safe.
So, I have expanded myparent's surveyto include parent education topics. I would love it if you couldanswer(feel free to leave the first half blank if you have already answered it) ,it's anonymous and will take mere minutes, thank you!
If you skimmed:
I took my big sister role seriously
I have been passionate about empowered and informed sex ed since forever
Please help me to help you and answer my expanded Parent's Survey
Thank you!