The one topic that 100% of parents agree is important when it comes to sex education
I have been starting to analyse the data from the parent survey (this is reminding me of my Uni days, data analysis was a big part of my Masters thesis, which in a lovely kind of full circle moment was on the topic of the media effects on women's body esteem).
So. Of the 13 questions about what parents feel is important when it comes to sex education there is only 1 question that currently 100% of parents agree is very important. (Currently there are 198 submissions and my goal is 1000, so it will be interesting to see if this changes). While there were a wide range of opinions on everything else (including diverse religious beliefs and family values), this was the only topic with 100% agreement across the board.
The one topic that all parents agreed was "Very Important" was...drumroll please...
Consent and Boundaries
Consent is pivotal to all relating (not just sexual), and this is why I have included it as a strong theme in all workshops, and it is also one of the three foundational pillars of Tell Your Daughters itself.
Consent goes well beyond sexual consent and it can be taught in non-sexual contexts from a very young age.
In the 11 - 13 year workshop for example, consent teaching is big, but we don't talk about it with regards to sex. Instead we discuss it with regards to situations that are relatable to your child - eg situations with friends and siblings. (Note - this age group is not an explicit workshop about sex, but it lays important foundations for healthy sexual relating in the future). The idea is to get them confident and comfortable to have an embodied understanding of the concept. We play games and have fun with different ways to say "No", this reinforces the idea of body autonomy so that they can begin to feel confident with the concept of consent and boundaries.
In the 14 - 16 years workshop we do discuss consent more specifically with regards to sexual situations. We look at consent as a more nuanced concept and how to confidently (and cringe-free) advocate for what feels safe and good when relating to another.
It really doesn't come as a surprise to me that this was the one topic all parents agree is very important to cover in Sex Ed. Culturally women are taught to people please, and to put the needs of another over their own needs. They even use the ‘fawn' response’ in situations that could be dangerous to minimise potential harm and to stay safe. And women who are assertive are perceived as emotional, aggressive or as a 'bitch'.
Most of us will have experienced situations where we didn't use our voice simply because we didn't want to 'make a big deal' out of something. And many of us will look back at those situations now with the wisdom of hindsight and realise we absolutely could have said something, if only we knew; how and what to say, and also that we were 'allowed' to do so.
The more we can educate and empower our daughters to speak up confidently (and with grace when grace is called for, and likewise with strength when strength is called for), then the less likely they are to find themselves in threatening, traumatic or even "just" 'less than awesome' situations.
For the skimmers:
The only topic with 100% agreement of importance by parents is "Consent and Boundaries"
Women are socialised to people please, there are huge implications of this when it comes to sexual relating
When we teach our daughters how to advocate for themselves (with grace and strength) we are giving them tools for life
Fill in the parent survey here and recieve a 20 page “Glossary for Parents” and also discount to use towards a workshop or parent ed talk.