Tell your Daughters
The most recent study of Australian Sexual Behaviour in Teens showed that 37% of year 10 girls have had sex. And for 43% of these girls the sex was unwanted.
— Australian Sexual behaviour in Teens 2019
Where are your children receiving their sex education?
Are you aware your daughter is possibly only getting her information about sex from her peers and her digital interactions?
Do you know what GNOC and OC mean when used in online chats? (GNOC = get naked on camera and OC = ‘open crib’ aka no parents are home)
Did you know that labiaplasticity (vulva/vaginal plastic surgery) is on the rise in Australia because exposed labia in pornographic magazines are deemed explicit so they are airbrushed out, thus creating an unrealisitic representation of what the norm is?
And did you also know that many of the surgeons doing this work haven’t been trained in the correct anatomy - in particular the nerves in this area - and many women are left with reduced sensation, ongoing pain and sexual disfunction as a result?
Our children, tweens and teens are constantly gathering information from the world around them.
Unfortunately the majority of messages that they are both picking up on indirectly and being given directly are often disempowering and incorrect. From unrealistic media depictions (including porn) to sex education that focuses on contraception and STI’s (sexually transmitted infections) rather than up-to-date information and empowerment.
In these precious years our children are marrying the messages they are receiving externally with their own experiences internally. There is often a disconnect here, and it is this disconnect which can lead to them choosing or allowing sexual experiences that are less than awesome, unwanted and/or traumatic.
By allowing your child access to positive sex education you are setting them up to navigate their world, their body, their heart and their relationships with confidence and certainty, as opposed to being led by digital interactions and media influences.
Tell Your Daughters workshops are run both on location or in the comfort of your own home with a group of your peers. There are three workshops to choose from:
Ages 11 - 13
Ages 14 - 16
Ages 16 - 19
All workshops are based around three values to ensure diversity, inclusivity and consent, and personal power and agency:
[ Click on the images below to find out more about each workshop. Or keep scrolling to read more about Tell Your Daughters’ philosphy]
What is “Body positive sex positive sex education”?
Sex can be one of the most fun, powerful, magical and empowering parts of your life.
It can also be one of the most confusing, frustrating, painful and even traumatic parts.
The key to having the former experience over the latter is education. Education that informs and empowers is vital to ensure our children have positive sexual experiences.
It is likely when you were a teen yourself your sex education was:
silent
uninformed
fearbased
focused on preventing pregnancy and stis
Unfortunately not much has changed and most school based sex ed programs are limited in that they are teaching your children the very basics, and often with the focus on prevention rather than pleasure.
Body positive sex positive sex education focuses on:
pleasure
diversity
body autonomy
Pleasure anatomy (as opposed to reproductive anatomy) is taught, so that your daughter will learn to know her own body and its potential for pleasure (rather than relying on someone else to give her pleasure).
Diversity celebrates how unique we all are both physically, and biochemically in terms of how we look, and also how we feel - especially when it comes to gender and sexuality. This is important with regards to mainstream media depictions of both (including the problematic representation in porn of airbrushed genitals).
Body autonomy includes the subtleties of consent (“Does that feel good, should I keep going?”) and coercion (“Come on, take your pants off, go on, just do it, touch me there”).
When your teen feels empowered around their own body and its boundaries they are less likely to allow others to cross those boundaries.
Why Good sex ed?
Current research shows that children who receive good sex education are more likely to:
have sex later,
have sex when they feel ready,
and have consensual sex.
They are also less likely to have unplanned pregnancy, or to get an STI. Good sex education will help your child to make safe and empowered choices.
When we teach teens to love and respect themselves first, they will make informed decisions from this solid foundation of self awareness.
There are three values underpinning all Tell Your Daughters workshops:
Your body is unique
“Your body is one of a kind! And it is perfect just the way it is”.
We are all so different from each other, it is important to rid ourselves of the limiting concept of “normal” and counter the mainstream narrative that tells us there is only one way to look, and that way is valued above all others.
Instead let’s cultivate an appreciation of diversity, and pride in our uniqueness as individuals.
Your body is your own
“What happens in, and to, your body is up to you! And you are always the boss of your your body”.
So often young women are taught by mainstream culture to be the ‘other’, the objectified, the looked at, and they learn that their power is limited to the way they look. They also learn how they look can be responsible for how others act.
This can result in them feeling like their body is for the pleasure of others. Subsequently they loose touch with their own desires and also their own agency and they may find themselves in situations that ultimately do not feel good.
Your body is powerful
“Your body is capable of great things! And it is safe to exerience your own pleasure”.
When we teach our daughters that their body is a source of power (and pleasure) we are empowering them to seek that power from within - so they don’t look for it outside of themselves. This not only builds their self esteem, but it will add to their overall confidence and have a ripple effect through their whole life.
Do you know what GNOC and OC mean? These are terms that your teen might be seeing when they chat on socials:
GNOC = get naked on camera OC = open crib - aka no parents are home.
This 20 page glossary will fill you in on all the acronyms, slang, and also current terms for all things gender and sexual identity that your teen may be using today.
About Natalie
Originally from New Zealand Natalie has called the Sunshine Coast home for 12 years now. She has two daughters, a tween and a teen, and she has always cared deeply about raising empowered children. She has a Masters in Psychology and a Post Graduate Diploma in Gender and Women’s Studies and trainings with the Institute of Sexuality Education.
She knows body positive and pleasure based sex education is the way of the future.
“I have been passionate about positive sex ed since I was a teen myself and my own sex ed was severely lacking. These workshops and sessions are a culmination of my life's work and I am really excited to be birthing them into the world. After years of research, education and some deep inner work the time has come for me to step up and create the shift in sex education that has been lacking for generations”.